Half the gifts I ordered on line have not turned up yet. What is the point of ordering on line if your "stuff" never arrives?
And then there is the "trying to order on line" thingy. That is where you go on line to purchase something because you don't want to elbow your way through the crowds. The "trying" comes in to this because, no matter how hard you try, you can't order. In my case, I need to talk to someone.
Easy.
Get off my butt and go to the shop.
Why do that? A shop where I would have to queue up? and as I mentioned, queueing is a sheer waste of time.
(even seagulls seem to queue these days)
Which made me wonder why on earth we queue, and why on earth the British are known to be the best at it.
The queue is revered as a very British institution. Although, actually the word comes from the
French word for tail, queue, which in turn derived from the Latin cauda. And so,
contrary to popular belief, and as the BBC write, it was Thomas
Carlyle a 19th century historian who wrote about the French penchant
for “standing in a queue”.
Another instance of the British, borrowing to create such a
wonderful and rich language. (see the History of the English Language in 10
minutes):
So where did the myth about the stoic Brits and their
passion for queues come from?
There are supposedly some references to queueing in the
Bible, but I am not too sure about where that comes into play. What is clear
however is that the British queue in an orderly manner for things like
Wimbledon and mostly in banks, but waiting for a bus? No.
Or is that because there
are now so many people in Britain who have forgotten or never been instructed
in this art?
Queueing had become a government-led institution in Britain
during WW2 when everyone was expected to do their part, and that included
waiting for your turn. Typically British, patience, decency, stiff upper lip
and fair play! Except that fair play does not really come into it, more self
interest, especially in the case of queue-jumping where I am sure, that many "queuers" (invented word) might like, quite controversially, to bop the jumper on the head. To
throw a spanner in the works, there are the queue-jumpers who pay for the
privilege, normally which turns out to be quite pointless, especially if you
are in the queue for the January Sales, which probably won’t be much this year
as everyone spent their money on Black Friday. However, if you are at a theme park, then there is a point to paying, although the danger is that you might get bopped on the head or thrown off one of those helter-skelter rides in the dark.
Dr Kate Bradley, a lecturer in social history and social
policy at the University of Kent writes about the reality of queueing during
WWII and of the arguments, civil disturbances of the time. She comments that “queueing was
exhausting, frustrating and tense.”
Exactly my point!
Just the same today as it ever was. And if you try and queue
for a bus or anywhere where there is no demarcation nor indication of how to
queue, then the whole concept flies out of the window, or into a punching match
– look at that stupid American custom of Black Friday, (that has nothing to do
with darkness, witches and evil other than companies enticing us gullible
consumers to part with our money). Bedlam – and there is a word that has a deep
meaning – but that madness will have to wait for another day of griping.
There are theories and psychology papers about queueing. The
theory of queues, which is all about maths and science and prediction and
probability. And if you leave the queue you are in originally, you will never
be happy and not get there any faster. Try it at a supermarket. Although on
Wednesday I tried staying in the same queue and it didn’t work.
Meanwhile, Management Today reckons that the institution of
the queue is dying out. We are moving to virtual queues, thanks to Rodger
Dudding, a British engineer who lived in Stockholm and who devised a ticket-dispensing
machine, the idea of linear queues from America and then Terry Green.
Terry Green, along with Martin Christie, an inventor, made
use of digital sound recording to link a message to a number indicator board.
Thus by telling the customer at the front of the linear queue which counter to
proceed to, ‘cashier number five, please,’ the customer throughput increased by
15%. That means 15% less waiting time for everyone else in the queue, which of
course depends upon how long the queue is and the types of transactions
happening ahead of you.
All well and good, but if you are in a supermarket, then
“cashier number five, please,’ does not work. And certainly not when you are
Christmas shopping.
And then you get the economist’s view. Queueing is a failure
of the system to match supply with demand. If you increase the price, the queue
disappears, and so probably do your profits.
Nevertheless, they have cottoned on to my point, that time
spent queueing is a loss of personal time and extremely inefficient.
Even making a phone call to a sales hot-line or ordering on
line, you find yourself in a queue, waiting for someone to speak to you or
waiting for your goods to be shipped out, because of an increase in demand and there are rather a lot of orders waiting in
front of you.
And so, back to the reason why we queue. We queue for things
we want, or think we want. Sometimes we queue simply because there is a queue (I
see that a great deal where I live!), sometimes we queue because there is a
limited supply of an item, such as concert tickets, items on sale, and
sometimes queues form because the demand outstrips the supply. Maybe the answer
to queues at Christmas might be to increase supply and the irritating queues
would disappear.
The fall-back option is the telephone.
Excellent idea.
Until I end up sitting waiting for someone to answer for 37 minutes and 37 seconds! And then the phone cuts off!
Not such an excellent idea.
BAH HUMBUG
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